The 80-20 Rule–surely you’re familiar with that tried-and-true budgeting tip.  Spend 80% of your disposable income on necessities–and no more than 20% on the nonessential, the luxurious, or the just-plain frivolous.  In general, none of the financial gurus need to tell us to make sure and allocate that 20%.  It is assumed that we will spend at least that percentage on stuff we totally don’t need.

Can the 80-20 Rule be applied to important areas of life that do not involve money?  That is, does the principle of reserving 20% of one’s assets for fun and luxury hold true as a realistic approach to the use of any finite resources?  Like…um…perhaps…time management in mothering, for example?

I would contend that the 80-20 does hold true–but with an important difference when it comes to moms.  Reserving 20% of any resource–tangible or intangible–is a healthy, human acknowledgment of the need to do more than just survive.  In every culture that lives beyond a subsistence level, there is some sort of built-in margin for the beautiful, the whimsical, and the delightfully unnecessary.  For simplicity’s sake, let’s say that margin hovers around 20% in a healthy, unimpoverished individual’s life.

However, in my experience of mothering (and of maintaining lasting friendships with both moms who work outside the home and moms who do not), I find that most mothers pour over 95% of their time and energies into the tasks of nurturing, training, transporting, organizing, educating, and managing their children.  And the myriad income-earning and home management duties that go along with child-rearing.

Yes, my statistic is unscientific–but let me offer one key measure that should resonate with most of you metro-area moms.  How much time in a week do you spend on activities that have absolutely nothing to do with your roles as wife, mother, home manager, or employee?  Even one regular night a week–for friendship, spa pampering, hobby-pursuing, or solitude–would be significantly less than 20%.  And, in my experience, it is the rare woman who comfortably–and without a shred of guilt–reserves as much as one night a week for herself.

Two decades of being a mom in Arlington, Prince William, and Loudoun Counties have shown me a statistic that is more like…one night a month.  One night out of 30.  Which…(whir-click-ka-ching) equals a teeny-weeny 3.33 %.   By any measure, 3.33% is not enough margin for health, balance, and that all-important feeling of thriving-not-just-surviving.

But, you argue, the budget is tight–and, anyhow, you’re tired at the end of each day.  Well, just shush and listen for a moment.  I’ve made that argument too–and, in hindsight, it’s appallingly obvious to me that I would have been wise to make the investment in the 20%.  Heck, even 10 or 15%.

And, here’s the kicker.  Not only would it have made a healthier person out of me during the really intense parenting years.  It would have modeled for my four children some crucial lessons in both self-care and friendship.  In the next post, I’ll list some practical ways to work toward the 80-20 rule in your mothering.  Stay tuned….and, in the meantime, if you’re itching to start building a little margin into your life, check out all the different ways Presto Pink can help you free up your time and save some precious energy.