In yesterday’s post, I suggested (well, actually insisted) that one evening a week is the least a mom should give herself for “luxury time.”  One night a week falls short of the “20-percent-of-resources-for-non-essentials” rule of thumb that can wisely be applied to the finite resources of our lives.  But it’s a whole lot healthier than the meager little bits of time and space that most mothers allow themselves.

And, anticipating those readers who would be shaking their heads and muttering about the impossibility of such an arrangement, I want to offer a few practical suggestions for ways to make this happen.

Yes, Ladies, I’m totally serious.  Get some time to be by yourself, your nail technician, or your closest friends.  It’s imperative.

1.  Rotate houses.  If you have three or four friends (or even acquaintances whom you find mildly entertaining), Facebook-message them as a group and suggest some sort of regular night at someone’s house.  Suggest that no special cleaning or preparations be allowed.  Exceptions made for OCD sufferers–but only with a therapist’s note.  No best-homemaker competitions, no appetizers that would require a recipe, and for goodness sake, no product sales or pyramid schemes of any kind!   When it’s your turn to host, your husband (or a babysitter) takes the kids to a different part of the house.  Or to the mall.  Or to a friend’s house.  It doesn’t really matter–as long as you’re truly off duty.

Now here’s an interesting twist on the home rotation idea.  If all friends involved are agreeable, hire a massage therapist to come once a month.  I have an aunt who’s been doing this for years with a group of teachers from the high school where she works.  Monthly bridge nights, you see.  And whoever is playing the dummy hand that round is upstairs getting a lovely massage.  Brilliant.

2.  Pedicure–preferably with good friend next to you.  Sitting in the massage chair.  Chat, chat, gossip, gossip.  Purple–or maybe cobalt blue–toenail polish.  Enough said.

3.  Do the coffee shop thing.  But make a standing date with a set of friends.  Again, the group Facebook message works great for this.  You won’t bail if you think other people are expecting you.  If you need time to sit and be an introvert, try to connect with one other friend who is aching for the same thing.  You know what parallel play is, right?  Arrange to have parallel silence (or time typing away on the laptop) with a girlfriend sitting across from you doing the same thing.  Yes, this is a rare friend–but these delightfully, ambivalently antisocial individuals are out there.

4.  Take a class.  Not necessarily something uber-academic.  Maybe a course in art appreciation…or meditation…or how to take great pictures with that new digital SLR that you’ve been keeping on Auto mode.  Having something scheduled that you have to show up for will make all the difference.  And perhaps a little scheduled help from Presto Pink’s personal concierge service?

And, somehow, no matter how tired you feel–once you’ve shown up and you’re totally into what you’re doing, you DO catch that second wind.  And it feels really, really good.